Home Borrower All the hilarious things we heard at Selfridges, from borrowing £10,000 for a shopping spree to bizarre complaints

All the hilarious things we heard at Selfridges, from borrowing £10,000 for a shopping spree to bizarre complaints


Selfridges is like Harrods’ little brother. Equally chic and expensive but slightly more modern and surrounded by less glitz and circumstance.

It attracts people from all over the world, from tourists to curious East Londoners. So, unsurprisingly, there are plenty of juicy conversations floating around the huge department store.

There’s plenty to admire in their six floors, from expensive jewelry and designer clothes to exquisite homewares and artisan chocolates. Visitors are understandably fascinated by all that is on offer, so I braved the rush hour crowds of Oxford Street for a stroll and some playful listening.

READ MORE: All the hilarious things we heard at Harrods, from tourists browsing Royal Family wares to shoppers who vowed to go to M&S instead

I left for a eavesdropping

Despite its fame, Selfridges has regular customers like any other store and the security guards know them well. An elderly lady was greeted at the door with a theatrical raising of a hat and a booming “hello, milady”.

Most tourists immediately flock to the famous perfume department of Selfridges, where vendors offer samples left and right. And while the smell is overwhelming to many, one woman was disappointed with her recently purchased diffuser.

At the store, diffusers range from £27 to £475 and the buyer had already had two refills: ‘I bought hers last week and my house barely smells of Selfridges,’ she complained.

The woman was disappointed with her diffuser

Meanwhile, a guy coming down the escalator loudly proclaimed, “This escalator keeps giving me an electric shock.” Selfridges is known for catering to the wealthy, and a passer-by told her friend that someone had ‘borrowed £10,000’ from a third party.

But the shop’s price didn’t stop a soul in the chocolate aisle from asking for more chocolate in her candy box: “One of those please.” And one of those. Three of those. Oh go on, one more. “She was still advancing when I walked away.

Not everyone can resist a good selection of chocolates

“I don’t usually call my friends, so consider yourself lucky,” one customer sneered into her phone as a child next to her shouted “you’re still leaving me” at her mother. The latter stood barely five feet away and shouted at him: “Go faster, then!”

And Selfridge’s prices don’t seem to be stopping many people from enjoying themselves despite the loud music, excessive spraying of perfume, and confusing layout. In the extremely sparkly jewelry section, a woman asked the staff how much a particular bracelet was worth. When told it was £100, she eagerly replied, “Only? How sweet!”

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